15 FAMOUS PEOPLE WHINING ABOUT BEING FAMOUS

1. LADY GAGA

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“I just sometimes feel like a loser still, you know? It’s crazy because we’re at [Madison Square Garden], but I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school. And I just gotta pick myself up, and tell myself I’m a superstar every morning so I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be.” –Lady Gaga

Dear Gagaloop,
You’re not a loser! You’re just a giant weirdo. Who voluntarily puts themselves inside a giant egg, anyway?!
Love,
Dumb Blogger Tina

2. ROBERT PATTINSON

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“Being in such a specific pigeonhole right now, it’s very strange. Having a persona people recognize, it’s the thing that probably gets you paid the most, but it’s also the thing that virtually every actor in the world doesn’t want. ‘Cause, like, no one would believe me if I wanted to play something ultra-realistic, like a gangster or something.” –Robert Pattinson

Dearest Edward,
Boo hoo. You’re stuck playing a sexy vampire for the rest of your life, making millions of dollars. That sucks, and I don’t envy you at all.
Forever Yours,
T-Bella

3. BEYONCÉ

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“The drama and the demands and the pressure and all of the people giving you so much access to so many things can be too much. So couple that with everyone telling you you’re so this, and so that, and so perfect, and of course you can lose yourself.” –Beyoncé

Yo Big Booty Bey,
Yeah, I would hate to be told I’m perfect, too. And giving me access to exciting things like designer shoes and fancy cars?! Fuhgeddaboudit.
Signed,
Bootylicious T

4. BRAD PITT

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“Fame makes you feel permanently like a girl walking past construction workers.” –Brad Pitt

Dearest Mr. Jolie,
If you can’t appreciate the fact that you’re with the hottest chick ever invented, then just please take your 17 children and go back to Springfield, Missouri.
Sincerely,
Tina

PS I’m really sorry you’re whipped.

5. REESE WITHERSPOON

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“I parted with my privacy a long time ago. We went different ways. And sometimes I mourn it. Sometimes I will sit in the car and cry. Because I can’t get out. That’s the only thing: I mourn the loss of my privacy.” –Reese Witherspoon

Lovely Reese,
I sit in the car and cry, too, when I can’t afford to fill up my gas tank because I’m not rich and famous.
LYLAS,
Tina

6. JUSTIN BIEBER

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“You would think paparazzi would have some respect in holy places. All I wanted was the chance to walk where jesus did here in isreal. They should be ashamed of themselves. Take pictures of me eating but not in a place of prayer, ridiculous… But some people just don’t have respect… been super frustrated and just needed some time to vent and chill. i want to see this country and all the places ive dreamed of and whether its the paps or being pulled into politics its been frustrating.” [sic] –Justin Bieber

Dear Justin,
I feel sorry for you. It really must stink being so loved and having such immaculate strands of hair. If you ever need to talk, my phone number is 212-555-TINA.
XOXO,
Tina

7. BRITNEY SPEARS

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“At first, it’s amazing, the first year or two, because it’s like, I’m a celebrity! It didn’t really touch me until I had been working for six years. I wanted to just stop. I wanted to create a new life… I used to be a cool chick, but I feel like the paparazzi has taken that away from me, like, the way I used to live my life. I used to be a cool chick, but I’m not anymore.” –Britney Spears

Hi Brit Brit,
That’s right. You’re not cool. You’re just a crazy has-been with bad hair extensions. But I still love you and your overly produced music.
Love Always,
Tina

8. DENZEL WASHINGTON

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“That’s one of the weird things about celebrity is that you don’t know who’s watching. That’s my least favorite part of acting, celebrity.” –Denzel Washington

What up, Denz?
Then go be a preacher! I don’t really know what else to say, because I never saw any of your movies. Sorry.
Cheers,
T

9. LINDSAY LOHAN

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“It’s hard in L.A. not to go out, it gets lonely. Being an actress is lonely, and I never want to be alone. I hate sleeping alone.” –Lindsay Lohan

Hello LiLo,
Good news! You don’t have to be alone when you’re in prison.
Hugs,
Tina

10. JENNIFER ANISTON

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“You feel like you’ve just been pushed out of a plane, and you’re in free fall. When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.” –Jennifer Aniston

Jenny,
Don’t you have handlers for that sort of thing?
Peace,
Tina

PS I’m sorry you’re 42 and still single. Maybe you should stop dating guys like John Mayer.

11. ZAC EFRON

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“It’s weird, but I don’t feel like think I deserve any of the attention. There’s really nothing but one audition for a Disney Channel movie that separates me from 2,000 other brown-haired, blue-eyed guys in L.A., you know?” –Zac Efron

Dear Zefron,
Everyone should just leave you alone. You don’t deserve High School Musical or anybody’s love. Except for mine. I have a nice spot for you in my bedroom where no one will bother us.
XX,
Tina

12. MADONNA

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“Fame can be very disruptive. It can be like a drug. It gives you the feeling that you’re happy, it gives you the feeling of self-importance, it gives you the feeling of fullfilment… but it can distract you from what is really important.” –Madonna

Madge,
Well, thank God for Kabbalah, right? I don’t really like you to be honest. You’re old, bitter and mean.
Later Gator,
Tina

13. KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

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“I think it broke something in me. I was told very early on that if I didn’t go out to openings and parties and events I would be left alone. I didn’t, and they still didn’t leave me alone. I knew it was part of the deal in the life I had signed up to, but the fear of it has never left me. I’m still not good at being recognized. I wear scruffy clothes and hats and keep my head down.” –Keira Knightly

K-Knight,
No, you’re broken because you’re too damn thin. Go eat a cheeseburger, please.
Regards,
Tina

14. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

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“I tried so hard to be an R&B artist [on his first solo album, Justified] and it was the pop album of the year, and I was like, ‘F**k. That’s the last thing I wanted. But I was like, ‘So everyone considers me a pop artist? Well, f**k it. I’m going to do whatever I want to do.’” –Justin Timberlake

JT,
And so you stuck your d$%k in a box?! That’s the logical thing to do. LOL!
Bye Bye Bye,
T

15. MICHELLE PFEIFFER

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“Just standing around looking beautiful is so boring, really boring, so boring.” –Michelle Pfeiffer

Pfeifmeister,
You’ve got mail! From me! Sorry for the sad life you lead. Must be hard.
Sincerely,
Tina

16. BONUS! ROBERT PATTINSON

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“You’re not really allowed to complain about any of this. You’re just supposed to be grateful. And obviously, I get it. You’re lucky and you should appreciate your luck. But, I mean, it just seems if you even hint that there’s a bad side to any of this people will be like, Liar! I guess it’s because people want to have it as a dream. God, I always talk about fame, and it’s just so boring!” –Robert Pattinson

Dear R-Patz,
It’s me again! I wanted to add you a second time to my photo gallery, because you are so whiny and ungrateful for your fame, it was easy to find self-pitying quotes from you. My advice? Cowboy up, and count yer blessings.